Bangkok Guru

You know how fun it is to go clubbing in Bangkok. We all enjoy the unrivalled benefits of free entry, cheap booze and lovely fellow party goers. So everyone thinks it is absolutely pain-free to go on a night out in Bangkok. Well, not entirely right because after a few beers you probably need a pee and an immediate visit to the loo where an army of attendants wait to gang up on you!

It is perfectly understandable to see why bar and club owners in Bangkok would want to maximise their customer satisfaction by having many members of waiting staff in the club ready to serve punters if and when needed. However, I don’t believe such a policy should apply in toilets, specifically the gents.

If you visit the loo and try to have a peaceful, quiet piss on the urinal, the chances are you won’t. There’s bound to be some bloke coming right behind and offer to give you a massage you never asked for. He will then escort you to the washbasin before you can leave. Very nice. Well, not quite when they demand you to tip them, usually 20 baht. And no, it ain’t a one off either so you can simply time that by the number of visits you make to the loo to work out how much money you’ve spent in there!

I don’t know about you but as far as I’m concerned, these guys are more of a hindrance than a help and there is no good enough excuse to justify hiring them. Most of my mates even say they find toilet attendants harassing and part of the reason why they won’t go to the toilet unless they’re really bursting.

And for your information, toilet attendants are much much more rife in less privileged bars where alcohol is priced relatively low. If you’ve been to bars and clubs in many different areas of Bangkok, you should know precisely what I’m talking about and how and where to avoid them.

That said, I sometimes can’t help playing this prank on my mates by coming right from behind and starting to massage them while they try and have a wee. And it always makes me laugh like a paedo when they unwittingly turn around and say ‘Mai Pen Rai’

What’s your experience of bar toilets in Bangkok like? Please share any funny story. Cheers!